17 Nov 2016
The Need to Talk to Our Kids
Our kids are the reflection of our personality. This is partly due to genetic reasons and partly because of the type of upbringing we provide to them. Spending quality time with them plays a very significant role in molding them in the way we wish to. Many people feel that their children are very open to them and will share their problems and concerns whenever they would have any. But this is not always true.
According to the renowned life coach Jasmin Waldmann, right from the time of pregnancy (!). The parents need to maintain a channel of conversation and connection, firstly and then mainly the mother, need to talk when they are in the womb of the mother, constantly, to the age when they barely understand what we say, to the age they the child can talk too. It says the first 2 years of a child is very crucial. The Coach Waldmann says the development of trust and so forth, the way the child will develop starts already as a fetus.
The conversations of course should continue. They should get a confidence that their parents are always with them, are interested in them, listening to them (which is truly sometimes a challenge), with the right mixture of not pampering them too much (not raising a spoiled brad) and trying to understand their feelings and (maybe different than yours) ways of thinking. This habit of talking to the kids is very crucial for their holistic development. It helps them in acquiring their self-esteem, deep trust and overall self-respect as they become confident that their parents support them.
If we miss the change having regular conversations with our kid(s), they will frame a cocoon around themselves and will shy away sharing their feelings, whether good or bad with us. They will presume that their parents don’t have time for them, no interest and are least concerned for them. They may start comprehending that they have a separate life and that they should not discuss all the things with their parents as the parents are not much interested in their problems, have no time for them to spend, or not even care much about their happy moments. This may cause an adverse effect on their personality and even shake the foundations of the institution known as family, says Jasmin Waldmann.
Thus, we should always try to keep this conversation open with our kids and try to be aware about what is happening in their lives. Moreover, you, as a parent, may guide them in various fields which, otherwise they would endeavor to explore on their own. You can talk to them on several topics such as feelings and thoughts overall, drug abuse, career and passion, sex, relationships etc. and can help them by giving the correct guidance as you are much more experienced and knowledgeable as compared to them. It will help them to develop that inner belief in themselves which is the axis of confidence and happiness in one’s life. On a practical part the best way to meet are rituals. E.g. common dinner and one hour to spend afterwards. Or breakfast together, dropping the kid to school, Saturday afternoons together,…
Try to imbibe the habit of connection and attention in your life and witness the change in your kids and their relationship with you. Most important, but aware that they might have other tastes as you; have different opinions or likes and dislikes. They have their own personality and need your support to strengthen that personality. That happens with encouragement!
Share your feedback, questions, experiences and suggestions on www.jasminwaldmann.com/blog.
Jasmin Waldmann is a much renowned international life coach. She helps people of any age to find their path in life, strengthen the inner self and guide how to become better in business, more successful, happy and healthy as well as in private life. Jasmin helps in a team-character wayto a life full of joy and satisfaction.